Preparation – Managing Conflict in Meetings

Averting Disagreements Before They Occur

Apr 1, 2010
Katherine Melvin

Longhorn Conference - Robert Fullerton

The conference room is packed. Each person thinks their position is the right one. The best time to resolve conflict is before the meeting heats up.

In Getting Past No, a book about negotiating with difficult people, author William Ury underscores this concept in the book’s prologue titled “Prepare Prepare Prepare.” Preparation takes time but the outcome is well worth the effort.

Causes of Conflict in Meetings

Causes of conflict in groups can be as varied as the number of people seated around the conference table. When people from different backgrounds, age groups, and personalities come together to discuss issues or solve problems, they bring with them differing goals, divergent expectations, and hidden agendas. Even with the best intentions and experienced staff, business meetings can be adversarial. Bullies use force to exert their influence. People lose their tempers. The greater the pressure in a meeting and the more significance placed on the outcome, the greater the chance for conflict.

Guidelines for Managing Conflict:

Active Listening

Laying out the ground rules. This is a key to any successful meeting. Some common sense suggestions are listen before speaking, avoid “you” statements and personal criticism, repeat what the speaker said to determine if the listener actually heard the intended message, stick to the point, be respectful and courteous, limit sidebars. By laying out the ground rules the leader or facilitator has a basis to keep the group focused on the task at hand.

Preparation

Understanding the facts of the discussion or problem on which the meeting is based. Facts, calmly and quietly stated, prevent the spark of antagonism from catching hold and burning out of control. They are conflict grounding wires. Facts devoid of the finger pointing pronoun “you” provide a foundation on which to build a viable round table discussion. They focus the debate away from the personality conflicts and turf wars that exist in any workplace and onto the issue at hand. Sticking to “just the facts, ma’am” separates the emotions and the emotional from the business of problem solving.
Analyzing and reviewing the collected data. It is helpful to hold a pre-meeting meeting for this review. The time can also be used to brainstorm by discussing the potential questions or issues that could develop along with counterpoints and responses.

Step into the Other Person's Shoes

Considering each stakeholder who will be represented in the meeting. Here it is helpful to move to the other side of the table and look at the problem or issue from another participant’s viewpoint. What do they hope the outcome will be? This strategy will aid in the determination of appropriate responses.

Take a Break

Finally, if the group is at an impasse and tempers are high, a short silent break may be beneficial. Rick Brenner in the article When Meetings Boil Over published January 9, 2002 states, “A silent break gives everyone a chance to breathe and to calm down without fear that anyone is hatching a plot.”

By being prepared and addressing procedural and personality problems ahead of time, a course of action can be set that will keep the group functioning, focused, and fruitful.

Katherine Melvin - Katherine has focused on writing and the creative arts since childhood. She writes poems, essays, articles, poems for children, and short ...